Golf humour: Golf book

Posted on behalf of Jezza

The following is text of an email circular (so it’s not Jerry who’s written it!)

Subject : New Golf Book Family and Friends

Many of you may not know it, but I have been very busy over the last 2 years putting my thoughts and ideas together in a book. I am very proud of the results and to assist with the marketing, I am asking friends and family to help me out. I believe my new book on GOLF gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my years of struggle and experience. The cost is only £29.95 and can be ordered by simply replying to this email with the appropriate information. Don’t wait until they’re all gone!

• Chapter 1 – How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
• Chapter 2 – How to Hit a Nike from the Rough, When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee
• Chapter 3 – How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
• Chapter 4 – How to Get More Distance off the Shank
• Chapter 5 – When to Give the Ranger the Finger
• Chapter 6 – Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earning
• Chapter 7 – When to Implement Handicap Management
• Chapter 8 – Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.
• Chapter 9 – How to Rationalize a 6-Hour Round
• Chapter 10 – When Does A Divot Become Classified as Sod
• Chapter 11 – How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
• Chapter 12 – Why Your Spouse Doesn’t Care That You Birdied the 5th Hole
• Chapter 13 – Using Curse words Creatively to Control Ball Flight
• Chapter 14 – When to Let a Foursome Play through Your Twosome
• Chapter 15 – How to Relax When You Are Hitting five off the Tee
• Chapter 16 – When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
• Chapter 17 – God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
• Chapter 18 – When to Re-Grip Your Ball Retriever
• Chapter 19 – Throwing Your Clubs: An Effective Stress-Reduction Technique
• Chapter 20 – Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?
• Chapter 21 – Why Male Golfers Will Pay £7.00 for a Beer from the Cart Girl and Give Her a £3 Tip, but Will Balk at £3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff the Bartender

Thanks in advance for your order.